When will it be easier?

I'm sorry I havent updated in awhile kids. I've been pretty busy. I think that's everyone's excuse this time of the year. Time just gets away from you. There's so much I'd like to do and yet it seems like I dont do any of that. Oh well I guess.
So the last time I wrote I was kind of excited for Christmas. That was a bust. I think eventually I'll be able to handle my family. But at this point I'm not sure what it is but something always sets me off. They are always like you can control yourself. They are right, I can...with everyone except them. Other people annoy me but I can just ignore it or laugh it off. With my family it's different. Maybe because they are so out of touch with my idea of reality, or they are incredibly hyprocrtical, or maybe it's the naive factor, maybe it's the fact that no matter what my role is always that little kid and something just causes me to act the role. I don't know I don't get it, I don't like it. I'd rather just stay away from family all together, until I can figure out what makes it so hard to deal with. I find it harder when everyone is together, but pretty much whenever it's really bad my parents are around. I can handle my brother and sister. Today my parents sent me letters...each indivdual...arent they special. My dad was trying to patch things up and whatever but really it just made me mad, I could see his goal but no not with what he wrote, not what he said. Maybe I'm just too stuborn, maybe I'm too much like my dad. I'm not like my dad, am I? Please say no. The man makes enemies so easily and never understands why, I don't want to be like that. Ok enough about my problems with my family.

Christmas presents were ok, I got some decent things, deffinatly not everything I wanted, not even things that I really wanted, but whatever I guess, it's better to pick out things on my own I suppose. It taught me not to give my family a list, it gets my hopes up that I'll actually get something I want, next year I'm going back to telling everyone I don't know what I want, that way I'll have my hopes set incredibly low.

My flight absolutly sucked. I was suppose to leave at 5:30 thanks to snow in Baltimore I got on the plane at 8:15. Yeah for getting to Chicago at almost 10, my brother actually stayed at work 14 hours just so that he could pick me up. We went out to eat and got to his house at almost 1. I was suppose to stay at my parent's house the first night but yeah my parents were in bed and it was just simpler so I stayed at my brother's house. The way back my plane was only delayed like an hour, so that's not so bad. Michelle wouldnt let me drive to the airport, so she picked me up and we went out to eat. There's a fast food place here you can get 99 cent Margaritas. Yep.

Monday...back to work...blah..actually I like it, I wish I knew more and could do more things, but that'll come. Monday was also Michelle's anniversary. Kris isnt here so we went out. Michelle is a good date :)

Tuesday I ran on my own. Sometimes that's nice, just to think about things, clear my head. Oh I ran on Christmas Day too because well I just had to get out, it was the second year in a row that I ran on Christmas Day, I think I'll make it my tradition.

Wednesday...today...ran with Amber. It's nice to have scheduled times to run, it forces me to actually run on a regular basis and it gives me reason to run other times.

This weekend Becky's coming. I wish I could be in two places at once. Make that three. I want to be here with Becky and Michelle. Dodgeville with Chandra, her family, and Kate and Craig. Casper with Nik. Did that really suprise anyone? At least this year will be a good new years. I'll be with my friends. Not someone elses like my past three new years. Not that that's bad, it's just nice to be with your own friends, maybe a mixture. But not like one person you know than a big click of people that you don't know at all.

That's enough of that ramble.